To me, she is young and successful, she is smart, intelligent, incredibly strong, full of experiences that have shaped her views, values and life positively. Our e-mail conversations left me in no doubt that I am dealing with an awesome individual and when I might her, I just love this lady! She is a balanced woman, a CAT-LOVER, she is here to rock her world positively and to make an invaluable impact. Poeticallytinted is in da HOUSE!



Is there anything to our cultural values in Nigeria?
Whoa! You choose to start with this JAMB question, na wa oh, and I thought you were my friend! (lol). Cultural values... honestly, sometimes I want to indentify with them, sometimes, I don't. I've lived abroad and I've lived in Nigeria and have witnessed firsthand, the difference in our cultural values/beliefs and thiers. My thoughts are these: The foundation of our cultural values are built on a very rigid model. This model encourages narrow-mindedness, we do things without asking questions just because that's how it's always been done. If you make the mistake of challenging any of these things, you are automatically persona-non-grata. Societal influence is stronger than ever because there is a major to be accepted and since there are very few types of people as opposed to more advanced countries where there are all sorts, you are either "good" or "bad", so chose one.

"Good" is boring and restricted, "good" never asks questions, "good" does not challenge anything, "good' desperately wants to be accepted, "good" takes you nowhere. "Good" gets married and has children because it's time to do so not because he/she really wants to. "Good" studies what his/her parents want hin/her to study in school, no questions asked... I am certain you get my drift now. So, I gues I am bad... I guess.

However, our cultural values are not that bad. In fact, the rigid structure brainwashes us into automatically reaching out to one another. We are designed to move in packs, no silos. I think because of this, there are less suicides and distrubingly-disturbed-but- looking-okay-people in our society. That is a good thing. We look out for each other. You will not go through a divorce alone. You will get good and bad advice from everyone like it or not! But most importantly, you will not be alone



Do you think there are things to be expunged from our culture in Nigeria?
Yes of course. A little broad mindedness and respect for people's individuality wil help. People are beginning to change things but the fundamentals are still there. For instacne, a policeman stopping me a few days ago and instead of simply asking to see my driver's lincense said to me with a knowing smile " I hope you didn't forget your license at home" because in his mind... women always forget thier license at home. Women also need to get out of the mould that have been created for them and begin to be true to themselves. Well, in a nutshell, mindless stereotpying and narrow - mindedness are two things we could start thinking about changing. You see, focusing on petty things keep us from achieving the great things. We, as a nation, have the potentials to achieve



What are your opinions about "gender inequality" that plague our existence in Nigeria and how can this be changed?
Gender inequality... you know how I feel about this now. Well, there is real and perceived gender inequlaity which stems from our deeply engraved cultural values/beliefs and our origin all voer the world. Like my mother stopping me from playing soccer with the guys because she wanted me to help her cook in the kitchen...etc. I did not have the freedom to choose to do what interested me at the time. So you grow up intrinsically knowing your place.

However. I think the primary responsibility for change lies with women. If you want something to give, you may have to nudge it a bit. If women keep acting like dumb people who will follow any course charted for them by men then they will never be taking seriously. Women in our society have been terribly brainwashed and behave like people under some form of lifetime hypnosis. I am impressed by women like you, Standtall, who are making a difference. I think women need to change from the inside before any impact can be made on the outside. You think it first and then you can become it. If you believe you are equal and are not afraid to act like it, then may be someone will treat you like his equal.



Feminism is often misinterpreted by some people, what is your interpretation of feminism?
For me, feminism is being pro-female. Recoginizing that women seem to have a battle on their hands, a battle they did not ask for but have to fight. I have fought this battle I know. Some women have decided to dedicate thier lives to battling stereotypes against women for themselves and for others. These are feminists. They are not man-hating; they are just on a cuse like the Mahatma Ghandi's and the Mandela's of this world. However, I never address myself as a feminist, people have various pre-conceived notions surrounding that word. I hate to be pre-judged. I am an individual before I am female or male or professional or anything and would like to be treated that way.



What changes would you like to make as a feminist?
Err..... Change the way we think. I know feminism means to you what it means to you (telling Standtall) so it's okay to say I am one of you oh. I want a world where people exercise all those rights that begin with the word "freedom" regardless of gender, race, religious beliefs etc. So I guess my cause is a bit wider than feminism.

It's feminism all encompassing my-lady Poeticallytinted



What is your opinion about helping other women/girls grow?
I intend to set up an NGO really soon where young women are constructively set on the right path of life. I think knowledge is power and gives us options, I also believe people need to be shown the way to go because some of them may never find it on their own.The point is a person should be able to do what he/she loves to do and not what she/he is forced to do. A person's potentials are greatly utilized when the decision is hers.

Most women don't know this and are afraid to identify what makes them thick because they may be labeled as "bad". Anyway, the point is to create a forum where minds are set free and negative stereotypes are shattered to encourage thinking outside the box and ultimately making the most of God-giving capabilities



Who is Poeticallytinted and why do you change your blog name from Adorable to Poeticallytinted?
I am still on the way to fully discovering myself. Everyday, I discover new things. Strengths and weaknesses. I am strong. I mean I've got quite an astonishing amount of inner strength. I've been through hell and most forms of abuse but I am still standing. Still positive and still trying to make the most of my life, Standtall. This I know for sure, I am strong. I think I also care perhaps a tad too much. I want to change the world. I don't to die like I never lived or live like I'll never die. I changed my name from Adorable for three reasons. Sorry, I can't tell you this first, but the second is, it suited my writing better, i post poetry and prose. My prose are of the things that grip me enough to give some thought to but then, I think in poetry but not just a poet, I am a lot of things. So, Poeticallytinted sounded right. Third reason is, it sounded so lyrical - I couldn't resist



Have you ever exprienced any gender discrimination in your line of work as a successful career woman?
Yes, Standtall, I don't deceive myself with false humility, I am not only female but I am also too young for the position I occupy. As in, my peers are all older than me by an average of 4years. I have had to fight all forms of discrimination. I have had to fight with my head and not my fists or my mouth even. I've got smart and I am not afraid to use them. I've found that you must prove your mettle every time to be listened to and you can't change anything if no one isn't listening to you. I've learnt valuable lessons, every inch has been a battle but guess what, I LOVE IT



Thanks for taking time out to share with us, my industrious, smart, awesome
friend.
I am really humbled that you have chosen to interview me. I have always marveled at the responses you get to your really insightful questions. I'd always wondered how you know just what to ask everyone. Your brilliance can't be hidden you know. I hope I haven't thoroughly disgrace myself in front of blogsville

A gifted person like you is a blessing and not a disgrace, so you have got nothing
to fear (lol)

Standtall - The Activist thinks she is becoming her cats and not the other way round. I am fast becoming them in the following departments:

1. Sensitivity
2. Curiousity
3. Observation

My new found sensitivity will soon land me in trouble as I cannot stand anyone touching me or placing thier hands at my back in a vehicle ( and this is done a lot since we are always packed tightly together in a bus). I am so annoyed about people that will bump into you without "excuse me or sorry". Where is our etiquette these days? If anyone makes screeching noise or play with thier keys, it just gets worse. You should see my feline cats twisting thier ears at any slight noise. Hmmm, I am done for.

Don Scofield curiously taking a nap (lol)

I am now so curious about something and everything. I won't be able to explain the level of my curiosity or what I am curious about. Thank God they are kinda positive stuffs and I don't go getting into people's affairs. I am just darn curious about developmental issues... but my feline kids are curious about the content of my bag, what goes on out the door etc.

Garfield there, observing where to bite on me-leg

What am I observing really? It's all entwined. There is no how you will be curious and not observe stuff. No how you will get sensitive and not observe. So, I am here... becoming my cats.
And now that I have observed a lot of development stuff in relation to Lagos State, I need to have an appointment with Fashola, the governor. No kidding

Read more on CATS TUESDAY on Gattina's blog

I called her Ms. Inspiration, Ms. Thorough, Ms. Purpose and Ms. Intelligent..... she is much more. She is blogsville powerful female member. She is ALOTED, the owner of PURPOSE DRIVEN Blog. I am honoured to be interacting with you, my-lady
...........................................................................................................................................................

Who is this Purposeful Woman?
My name is Aloted. I am in my late twenties but I feel younger every year, maybe that's why I look nothing like my age. Some of my hobbies include gisting, chatting online, reading, sleeping and travelling in no particular order. I like meeting new people but sometimes can be shy to make the first move. I also enjoy writing and as a result started blgging in May 2006. I wanted an avenue to express myslef, my purpose, some of my thoughts, my faith and to meet other people. My aim is to be an inspiration to people through my blog which I hope I am.
I am proudly Nigerian. I currently live with my hubby (Baale) in the UK. We were one year old this Monday, and we are looking forward to spending many more beautiful and prosperous years together.



What is Feminism to you?
Ah, StandTall, I am waiting for you to answer that question on your blog (smiles)

I don't think I will consider myself a feminist as such but I believe in the power I have as a woman. God created man and woman as equals, but we certainly have different roles to play. There is no need for a power struggle between women and men because if we look within, we would see that we have a kind of power that men do not have. It is high time we realised what it is. We can multi task, we can birth a vision and see it to its completion, we are intuitive, we are emotional being yet very strong. If there was no woman, the human rce would not exist. Becuase of woman, men and women of great talents have been born into the world. We are selffless; we are fighters- we fight for what belong to us. The list goes on and on

No Woman Should:

• loose her identity (the core essence of who she is) in the name of love or anything else
• think that any man is the solution to her problems. God alone can solve our problems
• think that any man is perfect. Neither are you by the way
• hate on other woman

Every Woman Should Know:

• she is wonderfully and beautifully made and doesn't need the approval of any man to validate herself.
• she can achieve her dreamsIf she can think it, then she can achieve it
• how to manage her finances
• how to experience living life by herself- married or single. If you are lonely before you get married, marriage isn't going to change that

Your blog is "Purpose Driven" as you are a purpose-driven woman, can you give us an insight into this purpose?
First, my purpose is simply to do what is right, be kind to others, and to walk humbly with my God

Second: to support my husband and be his help meet

Third: raise up my children (when they come) in the way of the Lord, so that when they are grown they will not depart from it. If I don't do any other thing right, I pray I succeed in this area

Fourth: to fufil my God's given dreams whcihc includes being a role model to younger women

I cannot say I am there yet as I don't get it right every time but I am on my way to achieving my purpose by His grace. I am learning to enjoy the journey. I am learning from my mistakes and taking each day as it comes



Do you have any female role model? Who is she and how has she inspired you?
I admire a lot of women but my role model of all times is my mother. I hope to be half the woman my mother is. She has a gentle spirit and this is something I aspire to have, as I don't think Aloted can be termed as gentle as such. She is also wise and patient. I see how she relates with my father and sometimes I wonder why she doesn't argue with him but growing up I have realised that a wise woman knows when to talk and to keep quiet.

In fact I can say my mother "controls" my dad and he doesn't even realise it.
Also my mum is very meek. A lot of people confuse meekness with weakness but I have learnt that when you are meek, you will enjoy peace



What is money to you?
It's funny you ask that question. Most of my friends say I m cautious when it comes to money. This I must say is a trait I picked from my mother. My mother made me realise early in life that you do not always buy something because you want it but because you need it. She taught me not to let money control me. but I should be in control of money.
Now to answer you question, money to me is a defense, a shelter. Having moeny, means a comfortable life and protection against the unexpected. The bible says money answers all things. Therefore money is agood thing and everyone must desire to attain financial freedom. Like the common saying goes-money talks and every thing walks (ok we've all heard all the naughty version of this saying)


The bible also says " the love of money is the root of all evil". A lot of people get it mixed up. It is the LOVE of the money that is bad not the money in itself. People set themselves up over money or have even killed and some are en-slaved to money. This shouldn't be. Being financially empowered means "our money is working for us" and not the other way around. That's where I want to be.

Also our money should be used to bless others around us. Givers never lack.



Does it matter who earn more money in a relationship?
If a man earns more than a woman in the relationship should it matter? I think not. If so, it should not matter if the woman earns more than the man. As long as respect, love, honesty and effective communication exist in a relatioship, they shoudl be good to go

Sadly though, it appears to matter in a lot of relationships. If many couples could adopt the "what's mine is yours" policy then lesser arguments on money would occur. Nevertheless, I think there is a lot of onus on both parties to make it work. For the man, if his partner earns more than him, he should not feel threatened subjected to the attributes I mentioned above. You know how men can be egocentric. And because of his ego palaver, women who ear more than thier partners should take care not to rub it in their men's face. It all boils down to the 4 attributes I have mentioned


In which ways can women contribute to the society?
Hmm, well, I think women an contribute to the society in different ways and I will mention three:

1. Women should learn to be at peace with thier neighbours, not to be backbiters or busybodies. They should aspire to be role models to the younger females. They should be supportive of other women and thier dreams. They should stand up for what they believe and not be intimidated by men
2. Women are mothers, both married and signle should endeavour to train up thier children and bring them up to have good morals and values. Good families make up a good society. Children are the future so when they are brought up right, they (both male and female) can impact thier commnities in positive ways
3. In anything a woman finds her hands to do, be it science, politics, economic, medicine, running her home etc, she should do it wholeheartedly and not for eye service.

Do you believe in training up male children to do domestic chores and what impact do you think this will have in the world?
Yes! I most certainly believe in training up all children - both male and female- to do domestic chores. Another thing I learnt from my mum. She had a roaster and every week each if us (I have a brother) took turns to be responsible for putting water in the fridge, washing the dishes, wshing the car etc. Apart from that, everyone had their portion of seeping to do in the house

It saddens me when I hear that some parents take extra time to train up thier daughters but let thier sons off the hook. No wonder we have so many couch potatoes in the world. They get married and thier wives work all day without any help from them. And they are puzzled why thier wives are grouchy or age fast

Training up male children to help out in the house will definitely have a positive impact. I think males will be more considerate and respectufl to the women they meet. They will not see house work as a woman's job. If they are single, they will be able to clean up after themselves withouth waiting for a girlfriend, sister or their mother. If married, it will be second nature for them to assist thier wives at home, which means having a stress-free happy wife/mother and in turn a happy home. We all know if mummy is happy, everyone in the house is, and if mummy is not happy, God help you if you cross her path



Ghana just got thier first female speaker ever after 51 years of independence; do you think this is a break through for women in leadership?
Most certainly, I do not know how mcuh bout politics but I admire women like Dora Akunyili and the work they do. With stuff like these happening in Ghana and other parts of the world, more women will feel motivated to take up more leadership positions.



What more can swomen do to be in leadership positions?
Like I mentioned eariler, we women should be faithful in anything we find ourselves doing, that is how we can get to the top. We should work our unique gifts. We should stand up for what we believe. omen should begin/continue to read more books/articles on leadership especially on women that are leaders. They say if you want to hide something from a black man/woman, put it in a book. We can learn a thing or two when we read.
Women should develop and have leadership traits such as honesty, kindness, competency, inspirational, broad-mindednesss, fiar-mindedness, courage, intelligence to name a few



What change do you think will happen when more women are in leadership position in thier soceity?
More women in leadership position would mean that the world had undergone a paradigm shift. It will show that we have grown as a global community and ready for a change. Women will surley be empowered. Women and men can then claim fair share of the challenges and opportunities related to leadership



Are there female bloggers you admire? Can you mention 5 and why you admire them?
I think I am going to to copy Afrobabe on this and cheat. Why? Beacuse there are so many female bloggers I admire but alas I can't mention everyone's name. Please pardon me.

First of all, I admire you StandTall, for the difference you are making on blogsville. You STAND up for what you believe and that is something I deeply admire

Thank you so very much

That;s just jara (extra) and not part of the 5 right? (lol)

So here goes:

AbujaMaiden: This is a girl who is walking the narrow path and is not scared to share her belief on abstaining before marriage. You rock girl. To me, you are a real woman and a role model.

Jaycees, Rita and Remi: Gosh, any time I visit their blogs, I either receive a confirmation of what god is telling me, or i leave inspired. Sometimes I am too speechless to comment and all I say is "thank you for the word"

Writefreak, Tyger and Nolimit: Writefreak is my very close friend outside blogsville and i admire her and thankful for our friendship. Tyger is also my person outside blogsville. Nolimit knows me through Baale (Check details on her blog) and we are yet to meet in perosn. Very soon girl! I admire how you both write

Good Nigerian Girl: I adimre how you are very Nigerian yet very Canadian. ( I was going to say English just now lol). I am proud of you for yearning to know more about Yoruba culture. May God provide you a good yoruba man after His heart according to His will for you

Vera Ezimora: You are in a world/class of your own. You amaze and amuse me. You are too much...you rock blogsville!

Madam Standtall, I am grateful for this opportunity to be interviewed by you. In fact, I am flabberwhelmed and overgasted. Well done with the work you are doing. God bless you!


Thanks for murdering English (lol). The pleasure is completely mine. I am honoured to have you accept