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STANDTALL THE-ACTIVIST
STANDTALL THE-ACTIVIST
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We forget we are impeccable


"We forget we are impeccable" was a scene from Vagina Monologues 2008 at Muson centre, Onikan, Lagos. It brought to the surface, our past female heroes the likes of Queen Amina who fought in battle, Powerful Efunsetan Aniwura and Moremi Ajansoro of whom halls of resident in O.A.U and UNILAG were named after.

It's to remind us how powerful our species is. So, powerful that it women are required to be submissive to thier husbands to be able to checkmate the powers they have!!! Submission didn’t come because women and lesser than men but because women are far more powerful than men. We are intelligent and are capable of achieving anything we set our minds to do.

Women are the leaders of men as it’s obvious in women raising men that later become the rulers of the world. All glory to their mothers, sisters and wives that fed, kept them together, advised and impact knowledge in them to face the world. Why then do we forget is a woman’s world?

But the submission issue has being used as an advantage by men to take away so many things from women. You have to relinquish your father’s name to take that of your husband. If you prefer to combine your names people see you as being up to something. Even though men combine their wives names to form a compound name the world over, (don’t let go there in order not to be told those men are either weakling or wanting something extra from the marriage). There must always be an explanation for daring to be different and dropping outdated beliefs and traditions.

Women are to forgo their religious beliefs and take up their husbands. This religion issues led to an argument in “our family” commercial car on our way home yesterday. Some school of thoughts comprising of 3 women and 2 men believe you have to take up your husband’s religion because a woman doesn’t have religion except after marriage!!! They said and I objected.

A man that happened to be in my school of thought was crucified for supporting my claim that women do have religion among other things they rightfully have. I pointed out that women have a choice; it’s their fundamental human rights you are trying to sweep under the carpet. I was warned that the man would just chase the woman out of HIS house if she fails to comply. HIS house or their house? Why is the house HIS? In this age and time that women contribute heavily to the upkeep of their families. HIS house? And chase her away like that because she choose to practice her religion?

Despite all my explanations of several men converting and joining their wives religion or beliefs, and many women with solid examples remaining in their religion after marriage and having wonderful children and a happy family, I was still made to look controversial.

Making me look bad because I was trying to correct a wrong impression doesn’t change anything about women having their rights like that of men. Even though people have chosen to still claim and hide under traditions to cheat women. Their rights are there. Women are to baby seat them men, wash their clothes, cook their food, warm their bed, make their babies and expect nothing in return, looks more like a master/slave relationship to me.

A true love, a true marriage should be filled with happiness with both parties being the decision makers, helping each other in all ways and supporting each other every step of the way not the man/ his family or her family/ the society expecting the woman to change all her life styles for him in the name of headship, submission to his authority and wanting to remain in HIS HOUSE!!!.

We are impeccable, we are powerful, we are rich, we are the rulers of men. But why do we forget????


March 29, 2008 | 7:03 AM Comments  0 comments

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The Wedding

I went for the wedding like I said I would yesterday. I could only meet up with the reception though.

My ex-boyfriend’s click (we all used to be friends back then in secondary school) were fully represented, so, I just reunite with them, they couldn’t believe their eyes because to them am now slimmer and with my low cut? Oh my God, you look too young, they said.

I don’t really like weedings, burials and what have you. My reasons for not liking weddings are not far fetched, I detest Aso Ebi and gele stuff, to crown it all, they will make the bride subjective in all their programs by telling her stuff like respect and submit to your husband and making her serve him on her knees (feeding of cake and wine) without remembering to tell the husband his Godly roles in the marriage. A lot of shits that always affect my feminism belief.

Burial? They are always wasteful in Nigeria. Instead of opening a foundation in the memory of the late person, na to waste money to bury am. May be the person even suffered through life without anyone to help but befitting burial is a must. (I have a lot to say on this topic but not now).

So, I got to the wedding reception and choose to tango with my former secondary school click. Almost all the guys are married. One of them Niyi came with his wife and kid. Very fine baby girl. The couple choose to be calling themselves mummy Zainab and dady Zainab. I said to myself in this age and time? I planned not to eat anything at the wedding but I could not resist the Amala and egusi soup with plenty fried beef I was offered.

Well, it got to a point that they brought take away gift for us and only the women were given. About 6 glass cups in each package. So, now gift is be stereotyped too? Glass cups for women and nada for men.

One of my click members said to a lady friend of his (God knows what the conversation was all about) that you women always take from men, you can’t fend for yourself. What an insult, when a lot of women are taking up jobs to support their families, when some are doing 2 jobs so their husbands can go back to school, when some young girls are forced to look for jobs to take care of their families. He sure did not know what he was talking about!!!

Did I enjoy myself? I can’t really say yes or no because I always observe issues that are not good for my health in events like this but in all, the reunion was fine and the fact that I was able to display my new “African Queen’s look” was refreshing.


March 23, 2008 | 8:03 AM Comments  0 comments



This Holiday:

I have quite a lot of plans mapped out for this Easter holiday. To sleep and sleep and sleep. It seems am not going to get my wish as I am having a house full of friends!!! I even brought some assignments home from work. Well, I am on for a busy Friday as I made beans cake (akara) one of its kind since my marriage 8 Months ago!!!

I have a wedding tomorrow in fact a vigil tonite but God forgive me, I don’t think I will go because I will just sleep throughout Saturday!!! After the wedding of Tolu Cole (my ex-boyfriend’s brother), I need to check out my angels – Ibukunoluwa and Oluwadamilola, 2 intelligent teenagers that are two wise for their age. They now school outside Lagos and they always make me feel guilty when they call me cos I have no time to go visit them anytime they are in Lagos.

I have got no choice; I must see them tomorrow after the wedding even though the places are two worlds apart!!!

A cousin that I have not seeing in 10 years will be coming in from Kwara State to visit me. First she will not meet me at home tomorrow, second, I hope she will not have a boring time with my husband that she will me at home cos that one (my husband) only find it very convenient gisting and playing with me!!!

What do I do? I still have to go to church on Sunday and its 2 services for that matter. It is Easter Sunday remember? My Monday shall be full of rest and my work assignment must get done. No negotiation.


March 21, 2008 | 12:03 PM Comments  0 comments

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I LEFT IT ALL BEHIND

I LEFT IT ALL BEHIND.

The sweet memory of my childhood and friendship
The way we used to play and share
Where our moments were always full of fun and excitement
Where our hearts were filled with love
But I left it all behind

I left it all behind
My dreams were shared by those friends
like my siblings they were
But time and tide have spread us all apart
My Ikirun was all my friends and family
But I left it all behind

I left it all behind
My bitter memories
Where grown up was full of corrections and admonition
where mother would not spare the rod
You must be the best and you must be perfect
She would say over and over

I left it all behind
My bitter – sweet memories
The pains I felt, the joy I had
Were all swept away with the tide of life

Mother is gone
Father is gone
Family uncare
Friends all scattered to find their future
Where is my connection?
Where is my yesterday?

I left it all behind
Due to no fault of mine but
That of facing reality all the time

I left it all behind
But the memories linger
The memories stronger
But reality no longer
I left it all behind

By Toyin Ajao 2/09/05


March 19, 2008 | 7:03 AM Comments  0 comments

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Women in ICT Forum

Titan of Tech's Women in ICT forum is a few days away. Here is a quick excerpt...Information and Communication Technologies (ICT) are for everyone and women have to be an equal beneficiary to the advantages offered by the technology, and the products and processes, which emerge from their use.

ICT in convergence with other forms of communication have the potential to reach those women who hitherto have not been reached by any other media, thereby empowering them to participate in economic and social progress, and make informed decision on issues that affect them.


Purpose of forum:
The forum seeks to create a platform for women in ICT to:
1. Network and synergise
2. Share ideas
3. Chart a course for women empowerment
4. Explore the avenues for national development created by ICT

Participants profile
Women CEOs of ICT firms
leading women in ICT from the public and private sectors
the academia
market women leaders (Idumota, Oshodi, Ikeja, Mushin and other major markets across Lagos State),
female students.

Sponsorship benefits
For sponsorship details - contact us

Theme: Women in ICT Forum
Date: April 4, 2008
Venue: Muson Center, Lagos
Time: 10am – 5pm

More info

March 18, 2008 | 5:03 AM Comments  0 comments

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