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STANDTALL THE-ACTIVIST
Cats on Tuesday- " I need a friend"
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  "I am alone, with no home with a man that will sooner get ready of me. Yes, I am crying out for adoption. Please rescue me. I need a home, I need a friend and I will be a good friend to you" from a lonely kitten
I would have loved to rescue this cat from where he is not being treated right but to drink milk once in a while from the man who believe he's doing the poor kitten a favour. I don't think he's a cat lover and unfortunately I have got my hands full. I plead for this cat to be rescued. If you are a cat lover and will not mind to have one to be your friend and make you happy, kindly let me know. Let's give a good home to this gorgeous!
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The Future of Nigeria Child…
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The was my view on the Deputy Governor of Lagos State, Ms. Adebisi Sosan's post to the Punch Newspaper. It was an addendum and I hope Punch got it.
The deputy governor of Lagos State government Ms. Adebisi Sosan made me proud. And and she convinced me that she is a working leader when I read her column on Viewpoint of Punch, Monday June 8, 2008 on page 96.She spoke like a true leader she is and she was able to nail the problem that we have in raising focused, patriotic and diligent children that will take over the mantle of power in the future. God knows we need to resuscitate the voluntary organisations like girls guide, red cross and boys scout. We need to start all over again in the area of instilling the right positive values in the heart of the Nigerians children.We need as a matter of urgency to let the parents know that it’s not acceptable for them to neglect their children while making ends meets. It’s all inclusive; the struggle for wealth as well as raising the kids in the right path. The only solution or only remedy that is tolerated will be “not to have them if you can be there for them”. This goes for father’s and mothers.I wonder though if these will be enough in the long wrong if we don’t stop to tackle the real issue first. The real problem, that led to the lost of our values, the lost of our selfless service and the lost of our patriotism, the lost of believing in Nigeria as a nation.It’s occurred to me over a period of a decade that we have declined in so many things as a nation. We all need reorientation at one point or the other because it’s so sad that the role models to look up to and emulate are fast going into extinction. Majority of our people clearly have corrupt mindsets born of years of corrupt leadership. It is still a system that people believe in enriching themselves and forgetting the purpose of true – transformational leadership.The followers in so many instances are not fairing better in the sense that we all have our own corrupt practices that will make it difficult for a Nigerian child to grow up with deep positive values if we continue the way we are doing. It will be difficult for a Nigeria child in the long run to appreciate the fact that the parents are there for her while she was growing up if they fail to set good example for her.I believe that the context of positive values include selfless service, respect for law and order, respect for human rights, accountability, diligent in labour and commitment to improving our country. There are lot of parents, teachers, guardians that have since thrown their values into the wind a long time ago. They are the ones that will lie while telling the children that it’s not good to do so, they will be the first to litter the street, and they will lead in smoking like chimney and drinking like fish in front of these children. So, what value are they growing up with? Do we forget how fast it is for children to emulate?Changing of mindsets is a very important task in Nigeria. I remember talking to some people about the fact that Governor Fashola’s administration has succeeded in changing my mind about the fact that there is no hope for Nigeria and I was shocked to be informed that they will embezzle money nonetheless. I was enraged by this as I don’t understand why we have to delude our minds so much. That it’s so hard to appreciate good work without remembering that they are doing it to embezzle money. There had being leaders that achieved nothing and siphoned all our money. Here is a working governor that we need to support and wait till the end of his tenure to see if he will be chased by the EFCC or not.
What I am saying in essence is, we need to be focused, we need to start having the right mentality, we need to start changing our mindset and help raise the Nigerian children in a way that they will uphold positive values and have the right mentality about building Nigeria and not destroying it.Reviving the “Schools” voluntary organizations by the state government will go a long way to help in shaping the future of the Nigeria children when the right people are given the power to coordinate those organizations. Lagos state government has the task to see to that.
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Interview Thursday-"What struck me first about Chari was his charm" - Buttercup. "Sincerely, I really can't imagine being with anyone else" - Chari
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They are the duo admired by all, run and maintains a blog as a friend and as a lover. They are the inseparable love of blogsville/blogsphere. They are the inspiration of true love and friendship. I present with joy in my heart our dearest Buttercup and Chari!
I like about Buttercup her ability to be friendly and kind to everyone even as we all meet online, how do you do this? BUTTERCUP: LOL. There's no 'way' I do this. It really just comes naturally. I treat people how I want to be treated and in most cases, the treatment gets reciprocated. :)
Does this say anything about Buttercup Personality?
BUTTERCUP: Yes, it does. Buttercup on blogville is Buttercup in reality..much more quiet and shy though..lol..
How does this personality add to your relationship with Chari?
BUTTERCUP: I think it makes it quite easy for him to relate to and talk to me about anything. I can't speak for him but I want to believe I'm very approachable and quite the listener too..lol..
Can you give insight into who Chari is?
BUTTERCUP: Hmm..where do I start? What struck me first about Chari was his charm. One can't help but respond and be drawn to him. He's very witty, intelligent, focused and driven. He just makes me want to do more. Chari has a way of making a person feel very much at ease; you won't realize when you start pouring out to him everything you thought was dead and buried. He's the sweetest guy I know, gosh..you really don't want me getting mushy here..lol. He makes me feel like the most beautiful and intelligent woman. He's very protective of those he holds dear. In summary, he's a very wonderful young man who has the brightest future I can see. :D
Chari, can you say a few things you admire about Buttercup?
CHARI: *sigh...I admire her ability to be trusting and understanding. Its something I admire and sometimes it scares as well as challenges me to have more faith in people despite my experiences [hello anyone? I grew in Lagos; Center for Mago-mago] Your relationship is long distance, how are you both coping?
Can we expect this to lead to Marriage?
CHARI: Sincerely, I really can't imagine being with anyone else...so yeah God willing yeah...Free Aso Ebi for you, for asking...
Well, I am loving this relationship but I will like to ask an odd question, will it be easy for both of you to be back as friends if this doesn't work? Buttercup? Chari?
BUTTERCUP: I've thought about this often. I know it would be utterly difficult in the early stages. I might have to totally refrain from talking to and seeing him for months but I think it could be possible to go back to being just best friends..I'd just have to make sure he never tells me about any girl he's developing an interest in..lol!CHARI: Would it? hmmn...I don't see any reason why not seeing as she was first my best friend before she became my lover. I can't deny that it would not hurt having her with someone else [the though itself gaan hurts] as far as we have come but I'd suck it in like a man.
Chari, you organised SBR 2008, what inspired you and are we looking forward to another one in 2009?
CHARI: LOL...Mehn...all props to Princesa ..cuz the truth is: I am more of a conceptualizing person and less of a planner so yeah...she did most if not all masef the planning...2009? who knows? maybe!
What can Buttercup say about the blogsville/blogpshere and it's people?
BUTTERCUP: Hmm don't get me started on this incredibly awesome place called blogville! I've come across the funniest, sweetest and most intelligent people here. I've read numerous posts that have made me smile, laugh and cry. I've learned so much from a lot of bloggers. I've even gotten spiritual help here too. I've read a lot of posts I can personally relate to and it feels very good knowing that I'm not alone in some particular situations. It feels like one huge family here..I can safely call it home. :)
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" I know a woman gives up a lot for the sake of her marriage, but I would often wonder if I'd given up much more than I was required" - FFF
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She is fabulouslly fantastic, a flourishing writer and blogger; I was more than happy to share with Flourishing Florida now known as Free Flowing Florida {FFF}. A proud owner of 2 fantastic blogs, join me in this powerful moment with FFF.********************************************************************************
Can we meet FFF?Guess this is where i describe myself, which I have to say, I’m pretty bad at. But, here it goes. I'm young, vibrant, ambitious, a dreamer, extremely emotional yet hard as nail & a lover of everything beautiful. It's funny about the young part, cos I still have to remind myself that i'm a grown ass woman now. LOL. Truth is, I still very much feel like a kid. I can envision myself, pregnant & fretting, ‘Help, I’m still a baby! How the hell did I wind up giving birth to another baby!’
Mention 5 things you value most.
My family. Although some of them would probably say I’ve a funny way of showing it, as I haven't spoken to my dad & my immediate younger brother since last December. But i worry about every one of them all the time, and they are always on my mind. But, I’m doing a better job of showing emotions with my husband. & I know am going to be one of those mothers that will cross seven seas & seven oceans for her kids. But, if they mess up, bulala straight.My freedom. This was so important to me, that it was the singular factor i looked for in deciding who to marry. If i felt a dude would restrict me, he was OUT. Honesty – well, it’s not like I tell the truth all the time oh. LOL. But, I try sha. However, too many people hide themselves, & for what I don’t understand. We are not in a contest for goodness. There is no medal, except that you’ve created in your head. So, why not be honest. Own up to who or what you are. If you are good, great. If you are not, work at it & be an inspiration to the rest of us who are doing same. I’ve a big oh problem with pretentious people, I do. Work! I live to work, am afraid. I'm not very domesticated, so i identify myself through work. It's a good thing I’m pretty good at it too. Still, I’ve a five years plan to quit paid employment, & set up a farm (with MM). The whole idea is to enable me keep a closer eye on the kids when they are at their most formative age. I'd still be working, just not for someone else.Writing: I have been writing since I was little, six years old I think. I have stories swirling my head all the time. Seriously, all the time! If I don’t get some of them out by putting them in writing, I feel like a part of me has been cut off.
You first personal blog started out with your day to day activities and now you write stories through it, is this what we should expect from now on?Oh yes. Ruffin It is going to be mainly about stories. A bit of my personal life will be told of course, just to personalize it & share with other bloggers on the going-ons in my life.
You now run a second blog, can you explain the need for 2 blogs?Well, sometimes when you want to create something, you may need a different medium to do so. Ruffin It is a now a Series blog, a blog that told fictional stories. Bambina was going an entirely different route – real life stories/experiences, & several contributors. Basically, I didn’t want to ‘own’ Bambina. I wanted it to be a blog where anyone and everyone could ‘own’. So, you see, those two couldn’t mix well. Besides, I wanted each to have its own niche, catering to different needs. I hope I make sense.
I have read a lot about Ejike story on your blog and it makes me feel you are a good writer, can you tell us more about your writing journey?I’ve been writing for as long as I can remember. I was a shy child, you see. I’m still a bit shy now, LOL. So anyways, I was so shy. & my family didn’t encourage free expression. My dad liked us to be proper. My sister naturally fit in to, I didn’t. When you combine my discomfort with expressing myself with strangers and being hushed for speaking with my family, what you get is the desire to self-express using writing. When I wrote in my younger years, I did so strictly for my own enjoyment. Then, I discovered the joy of having someone else enjoy what I write, & I pursued it. Finally, I realized that one does get paid for writing, so that’s what am all after now. To be paid good money too.
Will you like to publish a book or a lot of books someday?No, I haven’t published a book before. But I have about 4 or 5 short stories featured in newspapers and online sources. My husband keeps asking me why I haven’t published yet, and frankly I’m scared. I fear my writing wouldn’t be good enough – cos I have read lots & lots of writers that floor me on anyday. Actually, what I fear the most is the publicity part of writing. That’s where the shy child in me keeps hindering me. I’m self-protective, not wanting to let too many people close. It’s as though that publicity would over-expose me to strangers. I guess, when I conquer that, then I’d really be ready to publish.
What does FFF do beside writing, blogging and loving?Watching TV/movies. I’m an addict! Reading – novels, magazines or just about anything that catches my interest. Day-dreaming. I don’t quite enjoy cooking or cleaning, but when I have to, I really throw myself into it.
 Frm FFF Album "My husband can't cook if my life depended on it. & yesterday, it did!!!!!!!" was your twitter message, do you care to share what happened?Oh lord! He’s going to kill me for this. Ok, what happened is that on the fateful day, there wasn’t food in the house. As in, at all. It was the beginning of the new month, & we were planning to shop for food that day. However, I fell ill. I was weak & depressed. The only thing I was thinking about was getting well. & that I was hungry. My husband doesn’t know how to cook, & he is least interested in learning. So, he just planted himself in front of the laptop, occasionally asking me how I was doing. I was hungry, angry & sick, how did he think I would be doing? When he suggested he brought together things for me to drink garri with, I was livid. I just went into the kitchen & heated some packets of Indomie, enough for both of us. And he ate! He ate! I don’t think I said more than ten words to him for the rest of the day. LOL. The next day, even though I wasn’t entirely ok, I made myself get to the market, shopped & then cooked. But, it’s got better. I’ve been on bed-rest for a while now, so he’d had to take his butt to the kitchen. But I make the decision on what is to be eaten, & coax/coach him into warming the food without burning it. Because left to him, we’d be drinking garri & Cerelac, than go through all that trouble.What will you say about parents making boy child learn how to cook and do other chores in the house?My sons must cook. Let me repeat it: MY SONS MUST COOK. My MIL just spoilt her sons. None of them cook! MM even takes pride in that. I will excuse him a bit sha, cos in the East, it’s the practice for most family with girls to utterly leave all kitchen duties to the girls. My mom did that with hers too. I have three brothers, only one of them can cook. The other two couldn’t care less. They would rather eat out. My dad cooks though, but it turned out being a negative in my parents’ marriage. Because, every time him & my mom had issues, he’d take up cooking for himself. My mom hated that, so maybe that’s her reason for keeping her sons from the kitchen. Total BS, I say. Too many mothers I know spoil their sons, & they look 4 excuses to make themselves feel better.
Is there any other way, your husband compliment your effort at home?MM is pretty handy in the house, I must give that to him. Like I said, I’m not very domesticated. House-chores are CHORES. If I can avoid doing them, I would. He makes it easier for me. He cleans, sweeps, dish-washes & dusts. Of course, he messes up the house but he knows how to clean up after himself. Laundry is practically his job. It’s a good thing we live alone; else someone might think I’d turned him into a houseboy.
You were formerly in Abuja and now Lagos, how is life in Lagos so far?The things we do for love! Before meeting MM, I couldn’t stay in lagos longer than a weekend without wanting to run back to Abuja. When we met, the hope was that he’d get transferred to Abuja, since he used to live there. Up until October, we were still hoping. That’s when his office told him straight up that they weren’t sending him anywhere, clashing our hope. Our wedding was 2 month away, there was nothing we could do but start planning for me to relocate. Our courtship had been long-distance, and we didn’t think it wise to make the marriage long-distance as well, cos a lot of things you get to know about your spouse you can only do so by living with them. & we wanted to know ourselves, through and through. However, moving down here was the hardest thing I could have done. I resigned from a good paying job, gave most of my stuff away, & all my savings went into our marriage. I was in a city I hated, doing a job that was driving me insane, & I was broke. January to March was a pretty tough time in our marriage cos I was whining a lot. I’ve to confess, am not a very pleasant person to live with when I’m unhappy. And I was really unhappy. I know a woman gives up a lot for the sake of her marriage, but I would often wonder if I’d given up much more than I was required. I quit the job last month & things are better. Now, we have to rely on only one income, but it’s all good. Until I start a new job, we’re cutting cost. Plus now that I don’t have to deal with the maddening Lagos traffic, I’m a much happier person. People drive like crazy folks here, mehn! Also, electricity is better at our new apartment than at FESTAC, so at least I worry less about the things in the fridge spoiling.
What is your hope for a new Lagos?I wish an El-Rufia would come to Lagos. I was in Abuja in 2001, for the first time. I see the difference that man made to the city. I believe that’s what Lagos needs – someone to come change the way they do things here. Maybe it’d be harder, & will definitely take more than 4 years of Fayose’s rule. Maybe even 8 years, cos Lagos is a good example of what several years of bad habits can do to a city. I think the worst attitude I find with those who are so used to Lagos ways, is that they are proud of their bad behaviours! They see it as being street-smart! That just kills me. Still, the governor is setting precedence – that’s highly commendable. If whoever comes after him will keep up with the good job, get people to clean up their individual acts & the understanding of what’s acceptable (behavioral change message no be only for HIV oh), then indeed there is hope. Anything else na just white-wash!
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Interview Thursday: Celebrating a martyr of democracy- Alhaja Kudirat Abiola
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 She believed in justice. She knew something has to be done for the winner of June 12, 1993 election to be announced. She joined the likes of Anthony Ehahoro, Wole Soyinka to say no to the annulment of June 12 election where it was clear that her late husband, Chief Moshood Kashimawo Olawale Abiola (MKO) was the winner. The military led goverment of Ibrahim Badamosi Babangida (IBB) annuled June 12,1993 election.
In 1994, Alhaja Kudirat Abiola, wife of the unannounced president - elect of Nigeria rose to defend and fight for democracy when her late husband was incarcerated and kept in solitary confinement for claiming his presidential mandate. She stepped forward in bravery, she was convinced that the military actions amounted to a violation of fundamental human rights of Nigerians to elect their government.She joined the pro-democracy groups that marched for freedom in Lagos in December 1995 amongst other brave steps she took to rally for support for the release of her husband as well as the announcement of June 12 presidential election winner.She never lived to see the daylight of democracy. She never lived to see victory as she was brutality murdered on June 4th, 1996 a few days to the anniversary of June 12, a commemorative date when Nigerians resolved to vote out the military dictatorship. Her life was brutality ended by assassin's bullets. The assassins of the then goverment, the assassins that paid to destroy the dream of democracy.But Alhaja Kudirat Abiola lived on. He daughter Hafsat Abiola-Costello started an organisation in the name of her late mother called Kudirat Initiative for Democracy (KIND) in January 1998. KIND was launched in USA in 1998 where it joined other organisations in the Nigerian pro-democracy movement to end military rule in Nigeria.
KIND (www.kind.org) was established in Nigeria in 1999 following the restoration of democracy. And since inseption KIND has provided opportunities for the Nigerian girls and women to be full participants in the continent's social, economic and political development. Amongst KIND programs are Make Women Safe Campaign: V-Monologue play for violence against women awareness and eradication, KUDRA Leadership Programme and Junior Kudra. 13 years gone by, but she has become a legend, a heroine, she has inspired a lot of Nigerians, she has helped a lot of women and girls live their dreams via KIND. Rest in peace Alhaja Kudirat Abiola. You live on...During the interview that Hafsat Abiola Funke Olaode published in ThisDay feb 19 2006 has published by Naijablog, she had these to say about KIND, V-Monologue and others:
What is the link between KIND and V-Monologues? KIND is an organisation which works to promote women and democracy in Africa. Our focus is really on young women because we found that young women and women generally in the Nigerian society go underground when they face any kind of violence. And when they face any kind of violence they become frightened. Because we want to empower women, we have to address some of the obstacles facing in the society. The major obstacle is violence and KIND has set out to address it. You know many NGOs hold rallies, lectures and so on which KIND does regularly. But we continue to look for instruments/vehicles that we can still use to pass the massage across more effectively. That is why we are bringing V-Monologues here. It is part of our culture in Nigeria to gather and listen to stories (tales by moonlight) in our villages. It is also part of our culture to gather and watch plays. It is interesting and beautiful when Africans are watching play. As the play is being performed, you can gauge their response with everyone singing, talking shouting at the same time. I realise that people get involved in plays and I felt that instead of organising a lecture where as many as half of the audience would fall asleep, it would be better to do something that is dynamic, engaging, interesting, and exciting. That is why we are bringing the play V-Monologues.KIND was established after you mum’s death 10 years ago. Are the aims and objectives of setting up the organisation being achieved? Well, 10 years is a good time to reflect and say how much KIND has done. I feel happy to say that KIND has achieved a lot in the last 10 years. We did a lot to immortalise my mother, Kudriat Abiola’s name; From the street-naming that we did in New York to efforts within Nigeria to promote young women’s leadership. This year, our leadership programme for young women is expanding because of the support from the European Union and COIDAID. CODIDAID is a Dutch foundation. The two of them are funding us to reach about 1,300 women over the next two years. We are really excited because it brings KIND programmes to a new level. And with this expansion, KIND as an NGO would be the largest trainer of young women in the country. It is wonderful and if my mum were alive, she would be happy to see us training young people in entrepreneurship, financial management, leadership skills, genital and women’s right. LONG LIVE KIND, REST IN PEACE OUR HEROINE.
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