TIGblogs - Standtall

Are you in anyway familiar with the argument of we need not to westernize this or that, we need to know we are Africans. And with all the talk of 'westernizing' this or that, I realise that a lot of us are comfortable with the idea of getting respect at all cost by having people add either "brother, sister, aunty, uncle, Mrs, Mr, Dr, Chief" to our names and failure to do so make those people disrespectful to us. I am really wondering how we would be addressing ourselves if we really stick to our own very languages be it Hausa, Igbo or Yoruba to mention a few. Are will still going to find prefixes like "sister, brother...." to add to the names of people that are considered to be older than we are when we address them? Haven't "brother' sister, uncle, aunty' lose thier true meaning?

A niece of mine whom I called "aunty Kemi" because she is older came to Nigeria for her wedding in 2001, she came with her white friends and one of them was confused and had to ask " Kemi, this is a huge family, are all these people your relatives?". Unfortunately, none of those people were related in anyway but the norm, that it was carried the day. I once asked a woman what her name was after I told her my first name, she replied by telling me that her name was "aunty Mary". Then again another woman, who told me her name was " Mama Funmi" What?!

So here is the thing, we have, a long time ago thrown the real meaning of those nouns used as prefixes into the stream and we use them the way we deem fit as a mark of honour and respect for people that are older than us. But I still wonder in Nigeria with different ethnic groups, howelse could we have addressed those older than us if "brother or sister" isn't borrowed or misused? Could we have communicated without the discord of who is disrespecting who or without pointing out who is older than who because of a mere prefix?

The issue of adding "aunty, uncle , brother, sister" to a name often course a big problem in western part of Nigeria because anyone that is a year or 2 older than you must have some sort of appellations added to their names and failure to do so means you are disrespectful. This is even extended to marriage whereby you can't call your husband by his first name but he can call you by yours! And if you dare {well not in my marriage} to do so infront of his relatives, you are ready to learn some lesssons.

Seriously, is this what respect is all about? I think is the way you address people when you talk to them by not making your tone rude or your body language arrogant that matters but not by what you add infront of their names. It's so bad that some kids don't even know thier parents first names than the fact that they are just "daddy and mummy". Are we not exagerrating everything here?

I nearly got into that madness of people adding "aunty" or "sister" to my name before, thank God for logic and objectivity, I don't think that is how I am respected. I am respected by respecting others. I am respected by knowing how to talk and how to compose myself. But seriously, does the norm of people add "aunty", "uncle", "Brother", "sister" or you forcing them to do so worth the hazzle?